The Urban Legend of Frenchtown Road – Central, Louisiana

Categories
Featured Haunted Places Horror Mystery and Lore

By: Ezekiel Kincaid

Railroad tracks Frenchtown road

The Tetromet Chronicles is one of my forthcoming books from Stitched Smile Publications. It is a collection of shorts which center around an evil entity called the Tetromet. The stories were inspired by an urban legend I grew up with. In this article, I am going to share with you the portion of my book which talks about this urban legend and how it has influenced these stories and me as a horror author. I hope you enjoy.

For most writers, myself included, stories begin with one simple idea or moment of inspiration. Then they evolve into a grand universe. My Tetromet stories are no different. I grew up in the small town of Central, Louisiana, which is on the outskirts of Baton Rouge. I am also one of those privileged folks who got to grow up in the best decade ever–the 1980’s. What made this decade so fascinating in the world of horror was the obsession with urban legends and Satanism.

As a kid who was raised in church, I remember this well. I heard people go on and on about the dangers of 80’s rock ‘n roll (Anyone out there remember the documentary Hell’s Bells? No? Okay, never mind). I’m not here to bash church or rock ‘n roll, because both have played positive influences in my life. My point is, the topics of Satanism and Satanic cults were all the buzz in the 80’s.

I can’t help but remember a radio show my mom used to let me and my brother listen to after she picked us up from school. The name of it was “Talk Back” and Bob Larson was the host. He would debate Satanists and cast demons out of people right there on the radio show. I remember one show with clarity. A Satanic cult abducted the daughter of one of its members and planned on sacrificing her to the devil on Halloween. Yes, I know, trope, trope, trope, and more trope.. Since then, Bob has been proved a fake, but as a young kid it sure seemed real to me! I even went and saw him in person when he came to a church in Baton Rouge during the late 80s! I’m not questioning the sincerity or reality of Bob Larson’s faith, I’m just pressing the point about Satanism being the buzzword in the 80’s.. It was in the movies, on the radio, in the music, and talked about in churches and barber shops. Such bombardment couldn’t help but have an influence on my mind as a horror writer.

Now, back to the urban legends…

In Central, there’s a haunted road. It goes by the name Frenchtown and was known for its ferocious curves. Toward the end of the wooded road, it opened up a little, and ahead of you would appear a bridge. This bridge was a once functional railroad trestle. The foreboding, rusty structure would glare down at you, covered in satanic graffiti. Near this bridge was where most of the paranormal activity had been reported. But it’s not just about the bridge. Rumors of a Satanic cult in the woods near the bridge, along with a witch who lived in the last house on the left (yes, Wes Craven would be proud) are the prominent legends which once swirled around this trestle. It was said that if you crossed under the bridge, the cult members would kidnap you and drag you back to their lair. In the forest behind the bridge was where the rituals took place. Some have even reported seeing dead cats hanging from underneath the trestle.

With new construction, and the addition of a BREC park, Frenchtown road has changed somewhat, but still retains its curvy, wood laden scenery. During the height of Satanic rumors, graffiti not only tattooed the bridge, but the road before the bridge. People recall such words as “Go back now” and other symbols from Satanism and witchcraft being spray painted on the road. Having been out there myself in the 80’s, 90’s, and even early 2000’s, I can attest that this part of the legend is true. Town folks also said there used to be “Welcome to the Gates of Hell” spray painted across the side of the bridge. The road was indeed marked, and as you can see from the pictures below, so was the bridge. Over the years, well-meaning people have spray painted over most of the markings in an attempt to exercise the place of its demons. If you go today, you can still catch a glimpse of these symbols when you view the bridge up close.

Check out the pictures I took below:

Road under railroad tracks
Railroad support beam

On this beam you can make out “Portel [SIC] to hell”. “Portel” is written diagonally, and “to hell” vertically.

satan graffiti written on railway support

“Satan”

death graffiti on railway support

This is the side of the trestle where it used to read “Welcome to the Gates of Hell” You can still make out he word “OF” to the right and also a faint “H”.

abandoned road

Now, let’s move on to the good stuff, shall we? I want to talk about the types of paranormal phenomenon and strange encounters people have reported happening at the end of Frenchtown Road. My personal favorite is the one about the school bus getting hit by the train which used to run across the bridge when the tracks were operational. Don’t ask me how in the world a school bus got up there–its urban legend so facts and physical improbabilities don’t matter! I’m just telling the story. So yeah, a school bus got hit by a train and killed all the kids. If you turn your car lights off under the bridge for a few seconds, then flip them back on, bloody hand prints are supposed to appear on the windshield.

In continuing with the theme of vehicles, the most reported phenomenon was if you turned your vehicle off under the bridge, it wouldn’t start again. One person relayed to me the story of how he and a few of his buddies took some girls out to the bridge one night in the early 90’s. They wanted to give them a good scare, so they told the story about turning off the car engine and it not cranking again. They killed the engine. When the guy tried to start his car, the engine wouldn’t turn! The dudes panicked, in a macho way of course, without letting the girls see the fear in their eyes. After fifteen minutes of unadulterated terror, a bright light appeared in the distance. It was a spotlight, and it was headed toward them at a rapid pace. The angst in their heart escalated as the phenomenon continued. As the light grew closer, they realized it was just a hunter coming to help them. He had heard them trying to start the car.

Another man also told a similar “no start” story. His took place in the late 80’s. Instead of the bridge, he had the nerve to pull his car into the witch’s driveway. After killing the engine, he went to start the car and back out, but the engine wouldn’t crank! Still another person reported their car dying, and then someone coming out of the woods and burying an axe into it. I could go on with multiple accounts similar to these, but you get the idea.

Other reports include people seeing dead chickens hanging in the woods near the bridge, owls flying into windshields, dead cows, upside down crosses with burn marks in the field, stones in the shape of a pentagram under the bridge with burnt animals in them (I witnessed this myself), and car radios flashing 666. I’ve also heard from several people who said they have been chased away by vehicles, a crazy cat lady, and a creepy bald guy in a trench coat.

In my research, I’ve discovered Frenchtown Road has had reports of all types of different phenomenon and urban legends associated with it besides devil worship and cars that won’t start. Below is a detailed list of what I found through conversations, social media posts, and local articles.

  1. People laying on the bridge smoking weed. They hear something banging on the bridge piling below them. They go down to check it out and nothing is there.
  2. A man hung himself from a tree. People have reported seeing his ghost.
  3. Many reports of people hearing chanting coming from the field and woods.
  4. People seeing “watchers” staring at them on either side of the road.
  5. Another legend was about a man who murdered people and dismembered them. The body parts were found buried in the woods at the end of Frenchtown road.
  6. Reports of seeing people involved in casting spells, performing rituals, reading Satanic bibles, and carrying black crosses.
  7. Legend of a little girl who was run over by a train on the railroad trestle. Now, whenever a train comes, you can hear her scream.
  8. One person swears they got pushed into a huge hole that wasn’t there a few minutes earlier.
  9. A group of friends reported that they were all standing in the field, when one of their cars, which was off and locked, started flashing its lights.
  10. Some groups that have gone out there reported hearing the train, the screams of the little girl, and seeing the train lights… but no train would ever come.
  11. Demonic animals have also been spotted. One was said to have yellow eyes, boney, distorted skin, and was growling.
  12. There is a noticeable change in the air when you get close to the track. It cools off (I’ve experienced this one myself).
  13. At the last house on the left, red lights flash in the window.
  14. Lights in the woods have supposedly chased after people.
  15. Dead body found in the water.
  16. One person reported something jumping in the back of a truck. The passengers turned around to look and nothing was there.
  17. Radio goes off when getting to bridge, then comes back on when leaving.

As one can see, there are quite a number of reported eerie happenings. However, the most popular was of a Satanic cult and witch. This is the theme I went with in my Tetromet shorts. If you will bear with me a moment longer, I want to tell you a little bit about the Tetromet series.

First, it’s more than just stories about a Satanic cult at the end of Frenchtown Road. The stories span a time frame of around 200 years, and each one is different. Some are atmospheric, some are gritty, and others are twisted. They are listed in chronological order, but there are major gaps in the storylines of each. Why? Because just about every one of these stories will be developed into a novel, so don’t expect answers right away nor all the pieces to fit. This is not the point of the collection. The point is to introduce you, the reader, to the main characters of the series and the driving story lines. When the books come out, all the dots will be connected, I promise.

I hope you have enjoyed this little piece of history. I can’t wait to get this book in the hands of my readers!

About Author Ezekiel Kincaid

Twitter: @EzekielKincaid
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ezekethefreak/
Website: https://ezekielkincaid.wordpress.com/
Books and other anthologies
https://www.amazon.com/s?k=ezekiel+kinciad&ref=nb_sb_noss_2
Free reading can be found on Stitched Smile’s WordPress site
https://stitchedsmilepublications.wordpress.com/
And Horror Bound
https://www.horrorbound.net/?author=5de80c37c09a8973f9c333cf

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Scotland’s Haunted Castles – By Lynsey Mitchell

Categories
Featured Haunted Places Lifestyle

Scotland is a country known for its majestic castles. With a history that dates way back, people lived in Scotland for at least 8,500 years before Britain’s history records started. It is one of the oldest countries and Europe and with that comes a lot of history and ghost stories! The castles of Scotland have seen more life, death, and tragedy than any building in North America. So it’s no wonder they have a few hauntings. Almost every castle in Scotland has a ghost story or two or more from over the centuries. These are some of the most haunted castles in Scotland which also makes them my favourites!

Crathes Castle, Banchory

Crathes Haunted Castle, Banchory Scotland Image

There are many sightings of a Green Lady in Scottish castles. No one would know if it’s the same Green Lady or not. A popular sighting tends to be Crathes Castle, where many people have been said to have seen a green lady cradling a baby. When Crathes Castle was renovated in the 1800s, there were some children’s bones found beneath the fireplace in the room that has long been known as the Green Lady’s room. Who these belong to has never been discovered.  One theory about the Green Lady is that she has come from an incident where Lady Agnes, widow of the Laird, was an overbearing, obsessive mother to her son, Alexander. When he grew and formed a relationship with a common young lady named Bertha, Lady Agnes was not happy with the idea of sharing her son with this young woman. When Alexander was away on a long journey, Lady Agnes decided to poison Bertha. Alexander returned to the news that she had passed away. 

In an effort to comfort him, Lady Agnes prepared him a meal. However, when he reached for a goblet, she snatched it away, realising that this was the same goblet that had held the poison she used to kill Bertha. Alexander was furious with his mother. 

When Bertha’s parents arrived to collect her remains, Lady Agnes was screaming “She comes! She comes!” and was struck dead within minutes. 

However, the Green Lady has never been identified as either Agnes or Bertha. Some say that Bertha herself has been sighted on the anniversary of her death. Some believe that the Green Lady is the ghost of a servant who disappeared after getting pregnant. 

Falkland Palace, Fife 

Falkland Haunted Palace, Fife Scotland

Before Falkland Palace was constructed, it was a hunting lodge. When it was expanded, it was owned by The Earls of Fife – Clan MacDuff. 

Falkland Palace was apparently loved by Mary Queen of Scots, and some have claimed to have seen her ghost around there. It is said that if you stare through a window in the Queen’s bedroom, you’ll see a sinister face staring back at you. 

There is also the ghost of the White Lady, who will disappear through a wall once she catches you staring at her.

Another ghost has been sighted in the Tapestry Gallery, known as the Grey Lady and she can be seen anxiously pacing. It is said that her lover left for battle and never returned, but to this day, she is still waiting. 

Several staff members have reported seeing the Grey Lady. One of whom – a gardener- has reported seeing her wandering around the drive of the castle. Another experience from the same staff member was when she and a friend were in Lord Bute’s room. While they had reason to be in there, they found that they felt uncomfortable, as though they were intruders. 

Edinburgh Castle, Edinburgh

Edinburgh Haunted Castle, Edinburgh Scotland

Edinburgh Castle is said to be one of the most haunted places in Scotland. Many of the former prisoners are said to haunt the dungeons to this day. One unfortunate prisoner had chosen to hide in a dung barrel, thinking that the barrow would be wheeled down the Royal Mile and he could escape. However, he had not considered how the dung was disposed of and he was thrown down the slopes of the castle to his death. Many visitors claim to experience a feeling that someone is trying to push them, accompanied by an unpleasant smell. 

There is also the ghost of the piper boy. This dates back several centuries to when there were tunnels found under the castle. The entrance was so small, that the piper boy was the only one who could fit. He was instructed to investigate where the tunnels lead, but to play his bagpipes as he travelled, so that everyone knew where he was. As he wandered the tunnels, multiple people were listening for the sounds of his bagpipes, but the sound of piping stopped somewhere near Tron Kirk, a church on the Royal Mile. There were several attempts to find the boy, but there was never any trace of him. The city council ordered the tunnel to be sealed, but late at night, some people still say that they hear the sound of a single bagpipe playing from beneath their feet. 

 A headless drummer was seen shortly before Oliver Cromwell attacked the castle in 1650. While the sightings are rare, often people claim to hear the sounds of drums inside the castle. It is said that his appearance would come as a warning when the castle was about to come under attack. No one knows who the ghost may be, or how he died, but a common belief is that he was beheaded. 

Janet Douglas, Lady of Glamis is the tragic woman who was accused of trying to poison the king and of practising witchcraft. In 1537, she was burned at the stake, while her 16-year-old son watched. She was one of thousands of victims of Scotland’s witch hunting. It was shortly after her death that apparitions of (another) Grey Lady began to happen at the castle. She is often spotted wandering the halls and weeping. There have also been reports of knocking sounds, which some believe could be the sounds of workmen building the structure that killed Janet. 

If you love horror and all things scary, check out author Lynsey Mitchell’s blog -> Lynsey’s Awesome Horror Blog

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Interview with Horror Author Ezekiel Kincaid

Categories
Featured Indie Horror Indie Horror Creation Indie horror writers
Johnny Walker Ranger - Demon Slayer Book promo image

Tell me a bit about your background. I understand you were Pastor at one point in time?

Yes, I was in the ministry full-time for around twenty years. I served in churches across the
South in just about every position imaginable. I have three religion/theology degrees because
my passion has always been teaching and the intellectual side of things. My favorite areas of
study are supernatural and psychic phenomena, as well as the compatibility between the
Christian faith and evolution. I also enjoy philosophy. In fact, it was my faith which lead me into
horror writing. Both the Bible and horror deal with the supernatural, fear, survival, overcoming
terrible situations, and human depravity. The death and resurrection of Jesus is the ultimate
display of these themes. For me, writing horror was a natural cross over.


My decision to write horror caused big waves in my circles. Few were supportive while most
didn’t understand. The issue many have is the content of my writing. They balk at the violence
and profanity at times. I have explained over and over again that in the Bible, we see the same
thing. These issues are a part of human existence and God knows this. He meets us where we
are, and the Bible does not shy away from presenting the harsh realities of what it means to be
human. Therefore, if I as a still ordained ministers and committed to my faith, want to be faithful
to the pattern of what I understand as inspired Scripture, why should I edit my content?
This is the big issue I have with Christian fiction and why I would never write it. It’s fake and
doesn’t face the grittiness of reality like the Bible does. It sacrifices the depths and complexity of
life for some made up, stringent moral code.


I think when people found out I was writing horror, they thought it would be like Little House on
the Prairie meets Casper. They were disappointed.

You have been writing about the paranormal and horror for a while now. What is your favorite bit
of paranormal lore from your area?


I grew up in the small town of Central, just outside of Baton Rouge, Louisiana. Anyone who
keeps up with the paranormal and haunted places knows Louisiana is a hotbed of activity. In
Central, there’s a haunted road. It goes by the name Frenchtown and was known for its
ferocious curves. Toward the end of the wooded road, it opened up a little, and ahead of you
would appear a bridge. This bridge was a once functional railroad trestle. The foreboding, rusty
structure would glare down at you, covered in satanic graffiti. Near this bridge was where most
of the paranormal activity had been reported. But it’s not just about the bridge. Rumors of a
Satanic cult in the woods near the bridge, along with a witch who lived in the last house on the
left (yes, Wes Craven would be proud) are the prominent legends which once swirled around
this trestle. It was said that if you crossed under the bridge, the cult members would kidnap you
and drag you back to their lair. In the forest behind the bridge was where the rituals took place.
Some have even reported seeing dead cats hanging from underneath the trestle.
There are also many other phenomena reported about this site, too many to list here. I am
working on an article about it and going into detail about all the paranormal activity associated
with the place.

This has been so influential on me I have based an entire series of stories around it and am
developing them into novels. The collections of shorts are called The Tetromet Chronicles and are
forthcoming through Stitched Smile Publications. I have had several of these stories published
already through other horror publishers

Have you ever experienced anything paranormal yourself?


Yes. I don’t talk about it much because one thing I have found to be true—the person who
shouts about all of their paranormal experiences all the time and say they have them every day?
They are full of crap. With that said, let me relay some of my experiences with brevity.
One experience I will never forget is casting a demon out of a woman. It wasn’t anything like
The Exorcist, but her husband had to try and hold her down. I bound the demon in Jesus’ name
and the strength left. I was able to then cast the demons out. There were only two. I can’t even
imagine how bad it would have been if there were more.


Me and my buddy were also shot at by a Satanic cult when we stumbled upon their meeting
place late one night. This was in Louisiana and we had heard about the site and went to do a
cleansing. We didn’t think anyone would be there since it was 2 a.m. on a weeknight. Boy, were
we wrong.


I have also had an intense encounter with a ghost. She is the subject of one of my other
forthcoming novels called Theodosia.


I’ve had psychic experiences of remote viewing, clairvoyance, and telekinesis.

Johnny Walker Ranger has some pretty interesting combinations within the name. Tell me a bit
about this character and what inspired you to create him?


Ah, Johnny. My first fiction novel and the character I love so much. With all the serious stuff I
just laid on everyone, there is something else you need to know about me. I love sarcasm and
socially awkward humor. I am a HUGE Bruce Campbell fan and have been for decades. I was
the guy in high school telling people they needed to watch Bruce Campbell movies. Their
response? “Who is that?”


Yeah, you horror fans feel my pain.


Johnny is a Bruce Campbell tribute. It is taking us back to the days of VHS tapes and when we
could joke about things and not get so butt-hurt and offended. But yeah, it is a nod to Bruce, but
it is its own story and Johnny is his own character.


I came up with the story at a very low point in my life. Things with ministry went bad fast
because of jealous colleagues and pissed off people who wanted me to be a puppet pastor. I
was in a transitional period of my life and I needed something to make me laugh. So, I came up
with Johnny.


And the name?

I just came up with something I thought sounded like a drunk and pissed off redneck. Johnny
will always and forever be my favorite character I have come up with because he helped me
through such a dark time in my life. Even now, when things get bad, I go back to writing Johnny.
I am almost finished with Vol.2 and I have already started an anthology of stories written by
Johnny.

As a horror writer what have been some of the biggest challenges in releasing this story?


Johnny is not for everyone. We had an editor bail because she kept getting triggered by the
story. We also had to fire a cover artist because he couldn’t come through and give us a
finished product. He got mad and went to social media and slandered me and Stitched Smile
Publications. He really focused on me because I was a pastor and am an outspoken Christian.
He went on and on for weeks and it finally died down. But still, he won’t let it go. He bought a
copy of the book and gave it a one star review on Amazon…but at least he bought the book!


What was your favorite scene in the book to write and what did you enjoy most about it?


Without a doubt, the Bootcamp chapter. It is towards the end of the book and Johnny is training
people in his church on how to kill demons. Here are some of the highlights.

The next few moments were beautiful. There’s nothing more melodic than the
sound of someone huffing when they get kicked in the nuts. As I perused the rows, I
came across a kid who looked to be about fifteen. Real nerdy looking fella; coke bottle
glasses, button up shirt, and skinny jeans. Blood gushed from his mouth, and he was
crying. I got in his face and went all-out Gunnery Sergeant Hartman on him.
“What in the fuck is this? Are those tears, private?”
He sniffed. “N-n-n-no, sir.”
“It’s not? Well shit on me and call me Commodious. Ladies and gentlemen, we
have a freak of nature here who can make it rain from his eyes. Is that rain coming from
your eyes, private?”
“N-n-n-no, sir.”
“Well then what the hell is it? It damn sure can’t be tears, ‘cause you just told me
it wasn’t. And I know for damn sure you aren’t fucking stupid enough to lie to me. So
what are they, private?”
He dried up real quick, but I kept at him.
“Listen here, el nerdo. If you are crying here, do you know what’s gonna happen
to you when you’re in war? Well, I’ll tell ya. You’re gonna piss yourself like a neutered
dog and run home to your Xbox and action figures. Now, if I catch you crying again, I
will body slam you to the ground and pee on you! Understood?”
“Y-y-y-yes, s-s-sir, D-d-demon S-slayer s-s-sir.” He sniffled a few more times
then got back into ready position.
“Good. Carry on, private.”

A few rows over, a fat dude who looked like Newman from Seinfeld raised his hand and
called for me.
“What do you want, Newman clone?”
“You can’t be serious? You really want us to electrocute each other?”
I marched double time and got in his face. “Serious? Serious?! Do you wanna know what
serious is, Newman? Serious is rescuing your pure virgin bride-to-be from becoming a sacrifice
to Satan. Serious is picking Toby brains out her hair before you make out with her. Serious is
fighting an angel cause he done pissed you off. Serious? You damn better believe I’m serious.
Ask me if I’m fucking serious again. Go ahead, Newman, I double damn dog dare you. You ever
ask me that again, I’ll shove that stun gun so far up your ass, when I turn it on, it’ll shave your
face, got it?”
Newman started to mutter.
“I can’t understand you, lard ass. Get your tongue outta the jar of Crisco and talk to me.”
“Sir, yes, sir, Demon Slayer sir.”
“Ya damn right! Now get to shocking, you pew-sitting, casserole-eating, toe-tapping
shittards!”

You must be a pretty big horror fan yourself, can you give us some movie and book recommendations?


I am. I am going avoid suggesting the big names in horror because most of us have seen the
movie or read the book. Before I give my suggestions, I will say The Exorcist and Legion by
William Peter Blatty are my favorite horror novels.


For reading I recommend the following:


Mine, by Robert McCammon. Best opening chapter of any book I have ever read.
Out Are The Lights, by Richard Laymon
Mark Of The Werewolf, by Jeffery Sackett
The Hunger Moon, by Ramsey Campbell
Night Warriors, by Graham Masterton
Hobgoblin, by John Coyne
Light Source, by Bari Wood
The Revelation, by Bentley Little

Again with movies, I will give some that are not mainstream


The Abomination, 1986
Galaxy of Terror, 1981The Nest, 1988
The Kindred, 1987
The Boogens, 1981
Witchboard, 1986
House II: The Second Story, 1987
The Beast Within, 1982
The Brain, 1988


Where can we find and stalk.. I mean follow you online?


Twitter: @EzekielKincaid
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ezekethefreak/
Website: https://ezekielkincaid.wordpress.com/


Where can we get your latest book and other works?
My books and other anthologies I have been published in can be found on Amazon.
https://www.amazon.com/s?k=ezekiel+kinciad&ref=nb_sb_noss_2
Free reading can be found on Stitched Smile’s WordPress site
https://stitchedsmilepublications.wordpress.com/
And Horror Bound
https://www.horrorbound.net/?author=5de80c37c09a8973f9c333cf

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Everything I Needed To Know About Life I Learned From Horror Movies – By Rob Bliss

Categories
Lifestyle

LIFE! (Am I right, folks? That guy knows what I’m talking about.)  Life can be horrific. But you ask yourself: is there any way to defend myself from the horrors of life? By golly, there sure is! With my patented (patent pending) new list of handy hints, entitled “Everything I Needed To Know About Life I Learned From Horror Movies”, you too can withstand the horrors of Life. Ironically, I culled these awesome life skills from horror movies themselves! It’s like getting an antidote from the poison that’s killing you! So sit back and relax, you soon won’t need to worry because you’ll be well-armed against all horrors that life can throw your way … but then I guarantee that YOU WILL BECOME THE HORROR! (Not a guarantee.) I got 99 problems but horror ain’t one.

1.) At the FIRST sign that a house is dangerous, GET OUT!

2.) Do NOT go into that room.

3.) Someone who is wearing a hockey mask, but who is not playing hockey, WILL KILLYOU!

4.) If you are young and pretty and blonde, YOU DIE FIRST!

5.) If you are young and pretty and brunette, YOU WILL DIE SECOND, THIRD, FOURTH, etc.

6.) If you are plain, you live. Ugly lives; pretty dies.

7.) An inbred family is evil.

8.) People who live in nature are evil.

9.) Do not run into a forest. Or walk. Do not go anywhere near a forest.

10.) Do not open a door that squeaks. All doors squeak.

11.) Do not get too close to a window. Windows were made to be smashed.

12.) Do not make wagers with anyone, especially strange men in bars who have three fingers on one or both hands, or who wear overly large rings on their pinkie fingers.

13.) Pretty girls do not approach guys for ANY reason except to take them for a ride into the BOWELS OF HELL!

14.) All killers either have no hair or lots of it.

15.) Evil people who are buried are not dead.

16.) Geeky/pretty girls can both kill you with their minds.

17.) All ghosts have back stories, and they are not your friends.

18.) If there’s something in the bushes, leave it there.

19.) If your vehicle stalls for no apparent reason in the middle of nowhere, you are dead.

20.) If there is a light in the night sky shining down on you, it is not an angel.

21.) If the man you are talking to has a first or last name that is an anagram for either “Satan” or “Lucifer”, do not stay for a chat.

22.) Really normal people have horrific secrets.

23.) If there is a long knife shining in the moonlight on a kitchen counter, see Rule #1.

24.) Children who stand and stare at nothing are evil.

25.) Children who talk in monotone are evil.

26.) Twins have evil mind powers.

27.) During a full moon do not go into the woods. Or stay in a house with all doors and windows locked. Or go for a drive. Or go swimming. There is no way to escape a full moon.

28.) Do not swim naked.

29.) Do not do ANYTHING naked.

30.) Sex is evil.

31.) The suggestion of sex is evil.

32.) If you are in a house where you lock all doors and windows, the killer is inside the house already.

33.) If you barricade the only door in a room, the killer will come through the window or break down a wall or crash through the ceiling or explode up through the floor.

34.) A blind or disabled person never dies. Stick close to them.

35.) A creepy priest … is a creepy priest.

36.) If you’re not expecting a call, do NOT pick up the phone.

37.) If you do pick up the phone and don’t know who it is, hang up, rip the phone out of the wall, and move to another country.

38.) The call is ALWAYS coming from inside the house. Go to Rule #1.

39.) Do not split up to cover more ground.

40.) The killer will always be able to move faster than you.

41.) The car will not start on the first try.

42.) If the car does not start, do not waste time checking under the hood.

43.) If a cop shows up in the middle of nowhere to help you, KILL HIM.

44.) The crazy old man who gives you a spooky warning is RIGHT.

45.) Do not get out of the boat.

46.) If you’ve got a bite on your hook, let go of the fishing rod.

47.) Do not waste bullets shooting at shadows.

48.) If you’re in an alien environment and one of your crew has had an accident, do NOT bring them back into the ship. KILL THEM.

49.) The strange thing your team found does not need to be further investigated. BURN IT.

50.) If your spouse is acting strangely, they are having an affair with SATAN!

51.) If there are too many flies on the window, go to Rule #1.

52.) If a light goes on the boathouse, leave it alone.

53.) NEVER go outside in your pajamas.

54.) Killers love girls who wear nighties.

55.) The girl who goes to bed early in order to sleep or catch up on homework will live.

56.) Smokers die. Drinkers die. Drug users die. Whores die.

57.) If a dog barks at nothing, let it.

58.) If your dog runs off into the night, you are down one dumb dog.

59.) When a dog barks, sniffs, howls, paces, scratches, etc., go to Rule #1.

60.) If a cat screeches or hisses, go to Rule #1.

61.) Your gun will jam just when you need it most.

62.) Guns NEVER kill killers.

63.) If a box is locked, there’s a reason. Sell it to some other sucker.

64.) If something is glowing, don’t touch it.

65.) The mysterious figure in the distance who walks funny is not your savior, it’s a zombie.

66.) The number 666 should be avoided in all its manifestations.

67.) It is not a medical condition if your child has a number branded into their head.

68.) Running NEVER saves anyone.

69.) Screaming alerts killers to your location.

70.) Do NOT fall asleep.

71.) The killer is ALWAYS behind you, no matter which way you’re facing.

72.) It’s better to be dead. The living do sequels.

73.) If you limp, you will soon need to run.

74.) If you are brushing your hair in a mirror, you will soon see the killer just off to the right or down a bit. When you turn around, they will be gone.

75.) That thing outside you heard was not a raccoon. Do not go outside to make sure. Still, you do not have long to live. Call police or run screaming out of the house (see Rule#1) and head to a well-lit, crowded place.

76.) Killers do not go into crowded malls in the daytime.

77.) Night shift security guards are no help.

78.) A cop car will always speed by you, lights and sirens at full tilt, as you crawl and gasp on the ground.

79.) A cop is always late, always goes to the wrong place, and always points his/her gun at the innocent person.

80.) Few killers strike at dawn.

81.) NEVER take a shortcut.

82.) Do NOT leave to go get help.

83.) Whoever taunts others by saying “Chicken?” will die soon.

84.) The macho guy and the slut will die soonest.

85.) Curiosity will kill you quicker than common sense.

86.) The killer is either someone you know, or someone only one person knows, or someone no one knows.

87.) All doctors are evil and/or ineffectual.

88.) If there is a killer and a bear in the woods, you need to fear the killer; you won’t see the bear, and the bear won’t kill the killer for you.

89.) Very few actors in horror movies, who were not famous before, ever become famous.

90.) No child is killed by the killer unless said child is shown not to be a child at all.

91.) Killing the killer with instruments not typically used as weapons make the best weapons.

92.) Religious people will die, especially if they are shown to sin or are crazy.

93.) The best horror movies are low budget.

94.) A blonde must die before a brunette.

95.) If there is only one person with either red or black hair, they are evil.

96.) The faster the victim runs, the slower the killer walks.

97.) Humanoid aliens are good, but believed to be evil. Non-humanoid aliens are pure evil.

98.) Vampires are beautiful or very ugly, or they start beautiful but turn ugly when they get hungry.

99.) Pretty people stay pretty when dead.

Where to find more from Rob:
robbliss.flazio.com
twitter.com/BlissRob
https://necropublications.com/collections/rob-bliss
https://www.facebook.com/rob.bliss.779
https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/19496667.Rob_Bliss

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Horror Bound – Original Horror and Reviews

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Featured Lifestyle
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Tell us a bit about yourself and Horror Bound started?

My name is Charlotte, I started Horror Bound 8 years ago as a little blog for me to talk about horror movies because I didn’t have anyone in my life who liked them. Over the years it got bigger and I found my vision for it. I bought the domain and set up a proper website, hired my team of writers and since then we’ve been writing and posting daily. Horror Bound is all about the positivity in horror. It can be a pretty negative space with lots of clickbait titles and scathing reviews. We’re fighting against that – we only review things we love. There are no negative reviews on our site. We also wanted to create a space for indie horror authors to have their books spotlighted. A lot of my writers are also authors so we created the “frightful fiction” section where we share short stories in the horror fiction world. We cover anything from books to movies to video games to podcasts and real-life horror like haunted places and true crime. It’s a horror fan site for horror fans.

Give us some recommendations for our next horror view or read:


My favorite horror movies are:
Saw
Ginger Snaps
Scream
Misery
The Craft
Cult of Chucky
Drag Me To Hell

My favorite horror books are:
N0S4A2 – Joe Hill
Duma Key – Stephen King
The Luminous Dead – Caitlin Starling
We Sold Our Souls – Grady Hendrix
The Ruins – Scott Smith
The Shining Girls – Lauren Beukes 
My Sister the Serial Killer – Oyinkan Braithwaite 

Where can we find you and your site?
Horrorbound.net
https://twitter.com/horrorboundblog
https://www.instagram.com/horrorboundblog/
https://letterboxd.com/horrorbound/
https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/4850922-sidney-prescott

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